to fet or not to fet

a friend of mine recently confessed to me, with some modicum of sheepishness, his penchant for south asian women. "i can't explain it," he said, "i'm just attracted to every south asian woman i see. is that wrong?"

hmmm...that's a good question, so we got to talking about the all-too-pervasive FET.

a fet, for those of you who don't know (or who can't admit to yourselves that you have one) is a fetish for dating a particular group of people. usually, there are odius cultural myths associated with people's development of these fets, I.E. (not e.g.), a fet for asian women because they're percieved as doeish and subservient, or a fet for black men because they supposedly have humongoid magic sticks. the point is, fets are often based on racial biases and harmful generalizations and they're just no good.

but wait...is it possible to have a fet that's soley aesthetic and harbors no deeper implications? this is what my friend (i'll call him "mikey") and i decided to explore.

we began to probe the origins of his south asian predilection and soon discovered something very interesting. while "mikey" claimed not to be aware of any misconceptions he may have of south asians and simply be drawn to them on a physical level, his reasons for the attraction eventually belied his own biases. as it turns out, south asian women "fit" perfectly into his world of progressive politics, cultural openness and a streak of dating women "from the nile to the oxus." he maintained a subtle assumption that all south asian women are worldly smart lefties that would naturally match up with his own tastes. so even though he would never say "i like south asian women because [insert cultural bias here]," there was still a subconscious draw towards this group of women that seemingly fulfill a prefabricated slot in his mind. does that make any sense?

in the end, his fet really was a fet. the good thing about "mikey" (that's not common in most with the fet) is that he recognized the potential, examined the evidence and upon determining the fet to be true, took a step back to rethink his preferences. no matter that he's currently pursuing a south asian woman that he met in a coffee shop, or that he made out with another south asian friend of his last weekend. the boy has been cured of the fet! or has he? probably not. but at least he's aware of his own biases now. and that's not something many people can say.